27062011

It has been a busy month, I feel like I'm constantly buzzing like a bee..
Work
Family
Life
house moving
Friends
...

Although most of the time, life seems like a constant circle
but I yearn for some stability in it.

I do not know whether it's because of the general feature of my thoughts
or was it the stress from work.
Life just suddenly do not seem so beautiful and enjoyable anymore.
Or maybe it's just the fanciness of this working life has subsided so much
it's no longer is giving me the satisfaction that I'm looking for.

I feel like I've fallen into a trap, or a limbo
Like it's going, going and gone.
And yet I'm still here, like I'm not here nor there.

I missed home terribly,
I think it's because subconsciously I don't get to do what I like here.
I do not feel like I'm being rested enough,
I cannot just tell people off that I would like this or that.

There's just so many dissatisfaction,
so many uncertainties,
so many crossroads.

Yet all I can think about,
is that all roads does not lead to Rome,
but to destruction.
Or worst still, to be continuing this.

Sometimes it feels like I'm not thinking straight,
like I'm not being myself.
I always asked "what would my oldself do?"
I'd like to have her back one day,
I'm in love with the old her, not this one.

People say version 2.0 is always better.
But this feels vulnerable, idiotic and mismanaged.
Like a damaged good.