At so many points in life, it's so easy to just let it go. Just.. get comfy and stay there. That's why we should all constantly be reminding to strive forward, to move, to fight until you do not have any strand of power in you. That, my friends, are the ultimate goal of living.
I understand, it's always easier this way, calm & smooth and there goes a lifetime. But i wouldn't want to reminisce about my past and nothing jumps out. I like to have some more memorise, heartache, disappointment, joy, grateful.. a mixture of everything. They do not necessary means the best of moment, but is the essence of making ones life complete.
It's just like waves, one tide to come after another. A calm sea, can only be the dead sea. Concentration of salt is so high in it, one day it'll vanished.
I don't want to be caught up in work all the time, to be constantly burying myself so high in work, for i'm a very greedy person, i wanted to have of everything at the buffet, i wanted to juggle a few balls at once. Can i have it? Can i ultimately have it all?
p/s: if this doesn't make sense to you, ignore it. I'm tired. and emo. Especially on a rainy day.
i think i found my boyf's secret stash yesterday while trying to allocate my cert. Well, it's not exactly a secret stash per se, it was just something i did 6 years back. I remembered that was the 1st few months we gotten together, i was innocent, restricted, and naive back then. I wrote my thoughts for the 1st 100 days we gotten together and give it to him as a birthday gift. I thought it was silly back then, now i know it's such a priceless gift, it was me, strip bare from all the grown-up-polluted mind, just all that overflowing feelings, so exposed to him. I would have been very touched myself if i received a gift like that today though. It brings back so much of memories, it was so dramatic back then. I was just wondering, would us then be proud if they would have known how we're like, today? Or vice versa? Life have been moving on so fast, too fast that sometimes i wouldn't be able to catch it or slow it down, even if i want to. So many things to think about, so many stuff to settles, so many uncertainties to figure out. I've limited brain capacity here though, but maybe it's a challenge from God to expand my horizon, to do more things with my life. I've been living too comfortably back then, i think. Now it's time for me to pick up the pace and start jogging. I guess.. it's time!