220110

Apparently juggling studies and work is not fun at all.

Time seems to be racing against you. And you get frustrated everytime you got stuck in another boring meeting, or traffic jam, or even just sitting there not being able to concentrate doing your stuff.

This is the 2nd week i'm doing absolutely nothing in the office, i think they temporarily couldn't find anything to occupied me with, i prefer it this way though. I discover the spirit to study in the office already :P I'm bringing a few notes and leave it and the office, so when i've the motivation, i can either study or do some notes. *perks!*

However, despite the pathetic effort of studying. Lately I've been that I put in inadequate time and concentration for my studies. I was a last minute person, perform better under time-constrained. But i think this year course involved too much of brain capacity and memory works, i need to start earlier than usual. Not to mention the sky-high failure rate.

Sometimes i couldn't help but green with envy everytime i realise that my coursemate have proceeded so far with their studies while i'm still fighting very hard to pick up my pace at all. Whenever i reach home after work, all i want to do was just stay in bed in comfy clothing and watching series, Lie to me is my current favourite.
So imagine the fear that struck me after the realisation hit me, i'm worried and scared cause i don't think i'm committed enough in it. I've thought about handing in resignation letter but it wouldn't help cause my contract officially ends early March. I've a month and a half(roughly) of living in guilt of not studying enough and nothing to do at the office. And i think lately all the stress has an out-let of its own, i started to eat more, have better appetite and don't seem to be able to stop myself when it comes to online shopping..

I'm in a mess that is barely pulling through, forgive me if sometimes i seems frustrated and sound annoyed. Not my intention to do so. but i think i'm falling apart..