Thursday, May 28, 2009


What exactly did u do when u couldn't sleep at night?

1.The boyf recommended counting sheep..

Erm, u mean like this? These are so cute i could squeeze them while counting.. Yea well, maybe not. Mie would be offended.

2. My friend said watch a movie, conveniently called Insomnia.
Excuse the pun, but i think the poster looks a bit freaky to watch in the middle of the night.

3. Or perhaps, cling on to your favourite bolster (aka smelly!)?
Works, but not 100% of the time.

4. I surf, when i couldn't sleep.. and found this.
And damn, that actually get my adrenalin pumping and scream in excitement!!

Anyhow, I eventually fall asleep keeping in tab what I'm buying and Ed Westwick in hope that all would miraculously showed up in my dream! At least they do make an excellent combination, aye?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009




Thursday, May 14, 2009


I've never feel like this before, ever, after exam.

Mostly during exam, if i studied, i should be alright, most of the time anyway. This time, it's like the only time of my college days that i actually feel confident for the paper, it's philosophical, so i guess i should be alright. I literally feel like just turning the clock so that time can pass by a little faster the night before, all the ancient english and philosophy like language etc. It's just too much after u've been reading that for 8 days, straight.

Well, i was kinda happy when i went into the exam hall, i prayed before i open the question paper, feel good about it, then opened. There it is! First few was do-able, then move on, then realised that all those stuffs that our lecturerSSSsss told us we ought not study then, came out.

Right there, staring back at me, i was stocked, stumped, to say the least.

I feel terrible, played, and bad. This is a very crucial paper, if i fail this subject and even i passed with flying colours for all other subject(s), i'd still get a GD, as in i won't be able to practice in M'sia. I've never fail any paper before, and according to the experienced, they don't normally do any cutting of the student on our final year. They eliminate 1/2 of the class on 1st, another 1/2 from the second. So mostly when we're in our 3rd year, the painful part is over. Well, guess it's not like that this year.. I've no idea what've gotten into the brain(s) of our examiners, what hit them to make them come up with this kinda Qs? It's terrible, atrocious.

I freaked, panicked, blank. I completed all my Qs, but though I don't think I did good enough, it's like an underperformer or so. I don't feel like myself after that, I could be quite pursuasive on my usual days, but not yesterday. I cried after I went home, felt terrible. And couldn't sleep..It doesn't even feel like my hands are gonna fall off after 3 hours of continuos writing, it's more like, what am i gonna do now??

I feel beaten and crushed. I've no idea where I would find the motivation to finish 3 more papers, yesterday paper was the 1st, i've 3 more coming up. Well, lucky for me(i guess) that my next paper is only on next friday, and i've a bit of time before that to clear my thoughts and try to move on. I've never felt this way, i looked at the food, and i feel guilty of eating it, it's like..I'm this useless already, I probably don't deserve any goodness in life. Normally i'm quite optimistic(if i were to say so myself) i dunno what have gotten into me, that makes me this pessimistic, i guess the stakes were too high, i wanted it so bad, it felt so near, like i could already touch it with the tip of my tongue, i've been building that for so long, and suddenly, there's a great chance that it might not came true?

Call me kiasu, but this battle, I don't think I can afford to lose.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day

Hi mommy, it has been almost 5 years since u left us..I know u do not want it to be that way, but that's God's will. And we wouldn't have it any other way, another day with us means more pain and suffering for u. And as we all love u so much, we would rather let u go than to keep u for our sake.

It has been painful mommy, every year during mother's day, yr birthday and your memorial date.It has been so painful for me, for all i can do is just being numb, not to think about you, not to allow myself to. For everytime i think about u, tears just rolls down my cheek. I miss u so much mom!

It was just like yesterday that we were talking, laughing away, huggings and smiling at each other. The cheeriness in your voice, your little dimple, your warm touch...

You know how hard it has been for all of us without u being around right? We all tried to move on, to live on our life, but i know a part of us died when u left us. But we'll keep on be strong, and until when we met again in heaven, I'll want to tell you all about my life, and I want you to be proud for us!

How's your life up there, everything nice and good? I hope everything is well. Oh, and you must have reunited with grandma and grandpa already right? They left us 2 -3years after u did, we all misses them terribly too, send our love when u talk to them for us k?

And mummy, if u're reading this, or if u could.. I just want to say,
Mummy, happy mother's day, I love you!

More is LOVE

Seriously, i just couldn't stop myself, i keep eyeing things,
how come everything is so damn lovely one?!
I've to let my darling take my modem away tonight,
or else i'll seriously fail my exam and broke!!

Exam and broke?! Not a good combination!
Red Cotton Jumpsuit from Twinkle

Chain me Softly from SoakRepublic
Satine v-neck Blouse by MaybeBaby
*sale item*
Seahorse Dress from Trendy Confessions
White Demure Belle Blouse from MaybeBaby
*on sale too T_T*
The J Bracelet from SoakRepublic
unfortunately reserved and not restockable anymore =(
*winks*my birthday's coming up*winks*

As for the carnage, this is it!
Acid Jeans from Trendreport
Cute duo tone Ballerina from DressyDresser
*there, like the one i've in black and white!*

Saturday, May 9, 2009

mine and thine

Sharing is caring, so let's share some dirty laundry,
skeleton in the closet, guilt purchase..
Shall we?
Fairy's Love
Still pending Customization at Steph's
Tri-band pearl bracelet from SoakRepublic
These are so so good, pretty little things!

Angel Wings, also from SoakRepublic
seriously, seriously?!
super pretty/fierce stilettos from KookyThing
*red sole*red sole* ala Louboutin
last but not least,
purple puffy skirt from MidnightGlam!

An old friend

Was chatting with an old friend through msn just now, let's just named him X here.

I've known X for like 10 years, he was an old friend. I recalled during high school years, he was a good friend, always been there, whenever i needed a friend, someone to talk to, or even a shoulder to cry on. He has been a perfect gentlemen, despite what others would think of him.
I secretly thought that he's going to turn out to be a fine person when we finally grow up.

Unfortunately, peer pressure took over when we're almost finishing high school, long hours spent at the Internet Cafe playing games, neglected school work. Yet I still think that was just a transitional period, that he'll finally come to his senses and come back to the right pathway and move on.

Well, of course things do not turn out the way I thought. He eventually made friends with a bunch of kids with the tendency to gamble, but just amongst friends. And X thought he found he coveted angel. Overtime, he developed a deep adoration with gambling, and started thinking that he'll only been able to make something out of his life only if he took chances. Guess that's the lesson he learnt from gambling.

He then went on to invest most of his family money on a Multi-Level-Marketing Company, abandoned his studies, lost almost if not all of the money, turn to gambling for comfort, work in accommodation industries for a while, then eventually settled with a telecommunication company with his job description involves him to listen to people's complains all day long, did a two-timing thing once, lost his job in economic crisis, jobless and *new* dream..being a professional gambler.

It was just so sad when we finally bump into each other on msn, while we were updating each other's life, all he could talk about is to gamble, how much he gambled, where he gambles etc.

I just got somehow annoyed with it, as I disagree with all that he has believed in. I feel like shaking his shoulder and tell him what I think he is going to do is suicidal, is idiotic and unbelievably stupid, but we've grown apart and we're no longer the close friend that I can spill on with anyway that comes to my mind..

It's just all so used to be such good old time..
Just nostalgic.

Monday, May 4, 2009


I'm in a terribly bad mood, time of the month coming up..

Craving for :
duo tone ballerina flats ala Chanel *done*
stylish romper/jumpsuit *found,no moolah to buy yet*
cream and black peterpan collar blouse
good pair of skinny jeans *found, waiting for it to arrive*
cool looking specs
macbook air

Btw, do follow me on twitter at

Friday, May 1, 2009

Well, supposingly..

While I'm supposingly to be studying, something much more powerful took me over!!
I dunno was it because the loneliness of spending the holiday alone
or was it due to the trying-not-to-think-about exam stress piling up!
Anyway, i was just drifted so uncontrollably to all
those pwetty pwetty darlings..
source : unknown
loving the combination of white tights and duo tone ballerina
source : chictopia
She looks so dreamy, doesn't she?

Source : the selby
What a vintage 50s picture
She just inspired me, from hair cut to her sense of style

Oh my, this is so good, i can not, not post it!
Both source : Flickrista
Source : The Satorialist
Source : I'm Style-ish